It’s official. I’m going to be a contestant on the television game show Jeopardy! As a lot of you know, this has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. While some people fantasized about going to space, or hitting a home run in the world series, or having a threesome, for me it was Jeopardy. And threesomes. Since I got the call a few weeks ago, I’ve been doing everything I can to prepare - studying my presidents, attempting (and failing) to grow a mustache, buying a bunch of fake bling on eBay, figuring out how to write my name so it looks like a penis, - and now, as a final touch, I’m trying to assemble a posse.
Ever watch the Jeopardy! college tournament, and when the contestant is from whatever school they’re shooting the show from, the crowd goes nuts every time they get a question right? That’s what I’m going for. I want it to get loud. I wanna see big foam fingers. Air horns. Breasts bared. I want somebody to get thrown out. Get a bunch of people to paint my name on their chests, and then not sit together. So that’s the goal of this little invite. If you live in, or can be in Los Angeles on Tuesday, March 31st (my birthday) won’t you come be in the audience and make some noise while I either go all Ken Jennings or fail miserably? Because if experience has taught me anything, there is no in between.